Weather Advisory: Cold with a Chance of Malfunctioning Pumps

I want to throw my pump at a wall. It is making sounds that remind me of the national weather service alarm and I have a headache because of it. (Well, it could be because I have a blood sugar of 402 right now. But that's also my pump's fault.)

"But wait," the intrepid reader thinks, "Why is Sarah's pump making strange noises? Why is her blood sugar so high? How does she know what I'm thinking?"

Well, intrepid reader, let me answer those questions for you.

1. My pump's battery cap is stuck. As in so-attached-to-the-pump-that-it-won't-come-off-so-I-have-to-listen-to-multiple-strange-beeping-noises-for-hours stuck. Thankfully, Animas is overnighting me a new pump, so I'll have a brand new (hopefully) green pump tomorrow. For now I'm using my old Ping that still works, but is very picky about batteries.

Trust me, I would remove the battery if I could.

In my house, we have a plethora of AA batteries floating around the house. To find a battery for my pump, I went through four Wii remote batteries and one TV remote battery before I found a battery that worked. I was convinced that my pump was broken because every time I would put a battery into it, it would give me the "Replace Battery or Face Imminent Doom" alarm. Thankfully, my plucky sticktoitiveness (and my general loathing of having to give myself shots) helped me find a battery that worked and I was relieved. However, my relief was short-lived. I have realized that I have no earthly clue what my insulin sensitivity factors are because I have approximately 5 or 6 different ones throughout the day. My insulin to carb ratio is the same all day and my basals are recorded on mySugr, so for now I'm attempting to figure out my ISFs based on my logbook. (Aren't you just super jealous of how I get to spend my morning?)

2. My blood sugar is so high for two reasons: the battery died last night and I didn't wake up until 9:29 this morning to the alarm going off, so I had probably been without insulin for a few hour and my blood sugar went low last night and I probably over-treated for that too.

3. I'm obviously psychic.

Moral of the Story: Now that I've answered those questions, I have a question for you: where is the best place to put something that is making really loud noises, so it won't be heard? (I'm asking for a friend.)