Life Updates

I wanted to go ahead and update everyone on what's going on in my life, in case I go MIA on the blog for a bit. I began writing this while on vacation in Isle of Palms, which is a barrier island off of the coast of South Carolina. I love it because it's not too touristy, but is also not completely in the middle of nowhere. (Which is always preferable, for me at least.) My life is about to become crazy because I have so much going on.

I came back from vacation Thursday because I leave for camp on today, so I had a day to unpack, relax, and then re-pack all of my things for camp. I get back from camp the following Saturday, then I'm going to a Twenty One Pilots concert with my sister that night, and after all of that, I head off to move into college on Sunday. Needless to say, my life is going to be extremely busy.

This is my motto for the next few weeks/ months because of all of the change that's about to happen:

A photo posted by Sarah (@sarahspillerr) on May 31, 2015 at 11:35am PDT

I'll be going through sorority recruitment before classes start ad the classes begin on August 11th, so I'll be thrown into the mix of college life pretty quickly. That probably means that my blog posts will slow down a bit. I'll definitely have plenty to write about: camp, rush, college, and everything else happening, but I'll probably have to take more time writing posts since I'll also have tons of classes to study for, viola lessons, and everything else going on in my life.

So don't worry too much if I'm not posting as much. I still want to blog and I will, I might just have to figure out how to budget blogging into my schedule before I get back to posting weekly.

Resolutions and Realizations

So I've had the realization that I should just never post my goals or resolutions on the internet because that's a great way to make them not happen. I don't know why it happens, it must be because of the magical evil of the internet. Whatever it is, I'd rather not bother it. (In case you haven't figured it out, my New Year's resolutions failed miserably.) I'm not too worried about it because no one (shockingly, not even me) is perfect.

I think I've come to realize that perfection is an absolutely ridiculous idea since there is no static definition of perfection for every person on this planet. Some people define perfection as having flat lines on their CGMs. Others think a certain A1C will suddenly make life easier. The great thing about perfection is that once you realize there is no perfect, you won't feel as terrible about not having that A1C of 6. While someone may have your ideal A1C, another aspect of his or her life is probably not stellar. After all, life is a huge balancing act. And nothing is ever balanced in the way you hope it will be.

Schoolwork. Diabetes. Emotions.

None of these are ever balanced.

I can give you a few currently deprived areas of my life:

• Sleep (I'm writing this at 1:29 AM, if that tells you anything.)
• The information that is magically bestowed upon a person that tells one what to do with her life
• Health (ha hA HA)

My life isn't perfect and neither is anyone else's on this planet. I have to remind myself that because I constantly fall victim to comparing myself others. I'm friends with extremely intelligent people, which is a blessing and a curse because they push me to do as well as they do, but they also make me feel inferior, intelligence-wise. I've gotten better when it comes to comparing grades, but I need to desperately work on not comparing myself to others in different parts of life. That's tough for me because whenever I'm in an awful mood, I tend to want to just stay angry and sad for a while, so comparing just enables me to feel worse for longer.

I also need to work on being less defensive because I'm very used to be attacked for my views or just my personality/ If someone doesn't agree with me or says something insulting I get really defensive. Really quickly. 

I'm not really sure what this was supposed to do, but it was nice to write out what I've been thinking about lately.

Happy New Year!

Hello everyone and Happy 2015! I am super excited for this year and I just know it will be great! I usually don't like to make new year's resolutions because, well, we all know how those usually turn out... This year, however is going to be awesome and different, so I wanted to share my goals with you guys!

source unknown

1. Do yoga. I've discovered yoga this week and fallen in love with it. I love it because it isn't just good for the outside, but it's also good for the inside. It has an affect that makes my day seem 10 billion times better, so I will be practicing yoga throughout the year. Right now, I'm doing Yoga with Adrienne's 30 Days of Yoga, and I am so excited to see where this leads me!
2. Be punctual. Ask anyone I know and they will all tell you that I am perpetually late. Was I supposed to be at your house at 7:00? Count on me being there at 7:15. And I hate that, so I am going to be ready to leave 15 minutes before I actually need to. And also, I need to put things on my Google calendar, so I'll be doing that too, (You're welcome mom and dad. :))
3. Use Facebook. This sounds super weird, but I want to use Facebook more so I can have a better record of what I'm doing and I also want to be able to let my family see what I'm actually doing. 
4. Do Project 365. Project 365 is a fun photo taking challenge where all you have to do is take one picture every day for a year. Sounds simple enough, right? Let's hope so! I'll be posting my weekly photos on Saturdays, so if you're interested stay tuned for that!
5. Chart chart chart. I hate charting, But it's important. So I will suffer for the sake of good blood sugars.
6. Charge my CGM. I have an awful habit of just forgetting to charge my CGM after it dies. For days. It's dead right now. Oopsies.

I hope you have an absolutely fantastic year this year, and I'd love it if you shared with me what your resolutions are (if you have them!)

Moral of the Story: I think I'm going to go charge my CGM now.

Weird

Life has been kind of weird lately. My mom went to the hospital twice because she has a kidney infection (don't worry, she's fine; she just went twice because there was some miscommunication/ misinformation involved with the first visit,) my friend freaked me out all day on Friday, I have a lot of schoolwork to do, my CGM has been giving me some really weird numbers lately, and this week has just been stressful. (But isn't every week stressful?)

I haven't been really productive homework-wise today. (I need to right 6 theses for practice for my AP World History Exam, I need to read over my AP Biology notes, I need to study some math stuff so I can finish my test on Monday, I have to read my AP World History textbook, and I need to work on some stuff for robotics.) I have, however, been productive, internet-wise. I have read through all 517 blog posts on my feed reader. (I may have neglected reading posts for about two weeks. Oops.) It was nice reading everything and getting caught up on everything happening on the internet. Today was pretty much a day for me to do absolutely nothing important and just think. I hate doing anything in silence, so I've been listening to one of my playlists on my phone. I've been kind of obsessing over 8tracks lately, so I put up a condensed version of my playlist on it. Below is the magical widget to my playlist if you don't mind listening to my really weird music taste. (And image credits for the cover go to Delaney Allen.)

Feeling Weird from meow_its_sarah on 8tracks Radio.

In other, more diabetes related news, I went to the endo on Friday as well, and I have an A1C of 7.3% this month. (Apparently, it's the same as last time!) Both my nurse (I only see my actual endo once a year, the other three visits are mixed with my nurse and dietitian) and I were surprised that it was so low, considering that I keep running high in the evening, but it was definitely a pleasant surprise. My A1C always seems to surprise me, so I wonder why I haven't been expecting this kind of thing to happen. We also talked about how the Dexcom G4 was finally approved for pediatric use, and how I have been using my CGM "illegally" for about a year. She asked me how I liked it and was slightly surprised when I told her that I don't take breaks from wearing it. (I guess most teenagers don't like wearing it that much.) We also changed my basals and ISFs because I had four really weird ISFs and she wanted to get those down to only one or two different ISFs and then we brought my basal up, since it was so low before to compensate for my high ISFs. (One was one unit to 35 mg/dL.) Well, that's pretty much it when it comes to my endo visit.

Moral of the Story: I'm hoping this week will be a little more normal. (And normal does, in fact, exist!)